Esther Perel on Sexual Desire and Successful Relationships in the Modern World
Yes, we are talking about relationships again on The School of Greatness.
Partly because I love learning as much as possible about how to create and maintain healthy, amazing relationships (and I need a lot of coaching in my love life).
But partly because I heard today's guest speak at Summit at Sea in November and I knew I had to have her on the podcast.
Esther Perel is a world-renowned relationship therapist, bestselling author, and sought-after speaker who has focused her career on exploring the role of sex and eroticism in making and breaking intimate relationships.
She has an incredible world-view of relationships in many different cultures, which has allowed her to see what works and what doesn't on a bigger level.
I asked her a ton of questions in our interview and she had answers.
You may already have set ideas about what intimate relationships should look like, but I know you'll get some new perspective from listening to this interview.
Get ready to get vulnerable with yourself as you take a look at your relationships in Episode 285 with Esther Perel.
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The School of Greatness Podcast
"Monogamy is the new frontier."
Some questions I ask:
How does your anxiety and dread for things work for or against you?
Why did you write this book about sexuality?
What are the core reasons you see that end relationships?
How does your work support or not support your relationship with your husband?
What's the ideal relationship in the modern world?
How do you know when it's the person you can make a life with?
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
Why Esther was inspired in her work by the Clinton sex scandal
The cultural differences in how adultery is viewed around the world
The effects in the U.S. of how sex education is presented
Indifference, contempt, neglect, and violence are the main issues in any intimate relationship
Why people often treat their partner worse than anyone else
"A friend is someone who will always do more for others than for themselves."
The impact our parents have on our relationship skills (this is big)
Women get bored with monogamy sooner than men (because the romance usually dies after marriage)
A better question than "What turns me off" is "When I turn myself off is"
Why investing in being your best self and pursuing what lights you up keeps you interested in a monogamous relationship
The relationship between emotional risk and desire
We now expect our partner to be a whole village for us since we live much more private lives
The 4 Pillars of Modern Relationships: Trust, Affection, Intimacy, Desire
The idea that your marriage can have different phases (like a new marriage each time) with the same person
The value of yearly check-ins with your partner (not when a crisis is happening) to see what's going on
Why it's important to separate the idea of failure from divorce
The Millenial generation are the children of the divorced and disillusioned
The influx of couples who are married but live apart aka LAT couples (more common in the older generation)
What originally attracts you to someone is often what eventually drives you crazy about them
Plus much more...
Continue Seeking Greatness:
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
BONUS: Esther put together a list of the 10 questions to ask yourself about your sex life and her top 3 resources to improve your relationships - GET IT HERE
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