117: Wholeness and Separation

Greater Than Code

• Episode: 117: Wholeness and Separation
• Website: Greater Than Code
• Feed URL: https://www.greaterthancode.com/feed/podcast
• Duration: 00:42:04
• Published: 2019-02-13 06:00

What does it take to create safe conversations in our organizations, and in our global world? What does “safe” even mean? In this episode, the panelists get into a philosophical discussion about the dynamics of human relationships, differences in paradigm, and how to improve our ability to see one another. Are you truly involved in the developer communities you work in and sell to? Are you seeing the value in the events you are a part of? DevRelate.io can help! Developer and Community Relations as a Service: we speak developer! Learn more at DevRelate.io or email us at info at DevRelate.io! Panelists: Janelle Klein | Rein Henrichs | John K. Sawers Links: Virginia Satir Hierarchical Organization of Constructs Becoming More Fully Human with Virginia Satir Metaphors We Live By by George Lakoff My Declaration of Self Esteem by Virginia Satir Reflections: John: Addititive vs subtrative models of wholeness and purity and thinking about getting to wholeness via embracing your whole self vs getting to wholeness by shedding the evil parts. Rein: Becoming your truest self isn’t about going out and acquiring things to make you more human. It’s about discovering who you already are. We already have all the tools we need to be fully human. Janelle: Listening and understanding where another person is at. And if they’re raging, imagine the days we’ve been raging, and what we needed in those moments. And then maybe we can give that to the other person. This episode was brought to you by @therubyrep of DevReps, LLC] To pledge your support and to join our awesome Slack community, visit patreon.com/greaterthancode To make a one-time donation so that we can continue to bring you more content and transcripts like this, please do so at paypal.me/devreps. You will also get an invitation to our Slack community this way as well. Amazon links may be affiliate links, which means you’re supporting the show when you purchase our recommendations. Thanks! Transcript:  [Are you truly involved in the developer communities you work in and sell to? Are you seeing the value in the events that you are a part of? DevRelate.io can help. Developer and community relations as a service -- we speak developer. Learn more at DevRelate.io or email us at [email protected].] JANELLE:  I've been doing a lot of reflection lately and my mind has been in this place of philosophy and essentially, integrate all the things in these great existential questions of why are we here, what matters in life and what are we trying to optimize for. One of the recurring themes through a lot of these conversation has been around how do we have safe conversations, how do we talk about the things that really need to be talked about and make progress with being able to see one another. I think what it ultimately comes down to is I look at the culture around us. If I really respond to listen to people, if I really listen to what they're saying, I hear a couple of different things. One is people feel their identity like the core of who they are as a human being like my values about what matters in life, my values that the hill that I'm willing to die on kind of thing of just a sense of being challenged at the deep spiritual level like people are in survival mode at a significant degree -- this certain type of energy, this certain type of fire, this certain type of defensiveness and then on top of that defensiveness is pride, essentially. I feel attacked and at the same time, I'm trying to defend what are the things that I value, what are the things that are important to me and my heart aches for those around me that feel attacks to. What happens when we're in this defensive kind of mode, we go blind in a very particular way where we feel that defensiveness. We go blind in terms of cutting off our sense of empathy as an input. We turn everyone around us into objects in our narratives and we don't see them anymore as people. We don't see them anymore for a perspective of, "Oh,